I'll never grow old ... and some of my other favorite fantasies!


I’ll never grow old … and some of my other favorite words of fiction!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Master of Emotion

Chapter 1 –
“Sorry.”

It was the same feeling every time. My legs wouldn’t move.

He stood at the end of the crowded middle school hallway, his lifeless eyes boring a hole into me. Eyes of the walking dead. Body of any other pre-teenager. Everyone around us hurried and bustled, completely unaware of him.

He staggered toward me, his head hung low and the hood of his sweatshirt now shrouding his face. Methodically, his feet dragged with every step, as if he forced them on, using perpetual motion to push him down the hall. He walked like a pallbearer carries the casket of his dead mother.

I wanted to run, to hide, to get as far away from the school as I could, but my feet had sunk down into the tiles of the hallway as if I wore cement shoes. They wouldn’t even budge. Not even a single crack.

He adjusted the strap of his backpack as we passed. I stood there, unable to move, as the boy’s exposed hand brushed against my bare shoulder. The touch only lasted a millisecond, but it hit me with the force of a collision that ripped through me and doubled me over.

My chest was imploding. Darkness filled my head and my limbs, the pit of my stomach, and choked down my throat.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as passed.

The hallway pushed in on me, squeezing me like a python suffocating its prey, but the world felt distant, like all its inhabitants had turned their back on me. The darkness consumed me, seeped through my skin like thick, cold tar. It filled me with uncontrollable grief and isolation that weighed down my whole frame and soul. I could feel my eyes drying, cracking, from the months of crying the boy had endured. My whole body wanted to escape itself.

I couldn’t live like this. There had to be a way out. I would do anything to make this feeling stop.

I clutched my chest, holding my insides in.

Anything.


I sat up in bed, panting, my shirt soaked with sweat. I reminded myself that my twin brother had found me that evening six years ago, curled up in the corner of an abandoned classroom, still sobbing and wanting to die. But I was alive. He had found me in time.

Unlike the boy from the hallway, who they found the next morning, sprawled on his bathroom floor with his stomach full of pills from his mother’s medicine cabinet.

Me? I haven’t touched anyone since.

Obsession

ob·ses·sion
[uhb-sesh-uhn]
–noun
1. the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.


WRITING REQUIRES OBSESSION. LIFE REQUIRES OBSESSION.


The trade of authorship is a violent and indestructible obsession.
George Sand

The work is a calling. It demands that type of obsession.
John Pomfret

The creative habit is like a drug. The particular obsession changes, but the excitement, the thrill of your creation lasts.
Henry Moore

The obsession required to see a feature through from concept to release is not a rational thing to do with your brief time on this planet. Nor is it something to which an intelligent person should aspire.
Yahoo Serious

What moves those of genius, what inspires their work is not new ideas, but their obsession with the idea that what has already been said is still not enough.
Eugene Delacroix

Obsession led me to write. It's been that way with every book I've ever written. I become completely consumed by a theme, by characters, by a desire to meet a challenge.
Anne Rice

The first four months of writing the book, my mental image is scratching with my hands through granite. My other image is pushing a train up the mountain, and it’s icy, and I’m in bare feet.
Mary Higgins Clark

People can get obsessed with romance, they can get obsessed with political paranoia, they can get obsessed with horror. It's isn't the fault of the subject matter that creates the obsession, I don't think.
Adam Arkin

Without obsession, life is nothing.
John Waters

Cure for an obsession: get another one.
Mason Cooley

Obsession is an attractive thing. People who are really, really interested and good at one thing and smart are attractive, if they're men.
Meryl Streep

Love is an obsession. It has that quality to it. But there are healthy obsessions, and mine is one of them.
Pamela Stephenson

Just make sure your obsession is the Write ... Oops ... I mean Right One.
DeAnn Ogden Huff